I didn’t think watching a heteronormative reality show would get me pondering our notion of cultural differences…

But there it was. Season 14 of The Bachelorette in Thailand. And one of the contestants, Becca, marveled at the abundance of “culture”.

Was she referring to the omnipresent gold filigree, the music, the elephants, the food, the language? I can only assume it was just so different from what she knew of her home, this was the only way she could express it.

As Americans, how do we filter cultural differences? And how does it impact the way we interact with – even judge – the people around us?

How does it impact how we see ourselves?

Culture is more than the ethnic food aisle

I was indulging in one of my favorite activities a while back: people watching.

South Beach, Miami, Florida. A corner of the country I will forever refer to as the Body Confidence Capital of America.

No kidding. The only other place I recall seeing that much confidence in one’s self-image is Manhattan. I was curious about the seemingly blithe self-acceptance and indifference everyone enjoyed…so I asked the locals.

Of all the answers, this was my hands-down favorite:

“In New York City, everyone is too cool to look and acknowledge one another…even famous people. Here, no one is too cool for anything or anyone, they just don’t care.”

So, is that a culture?

We’re used to walking down the ethnic food aisle at our local grocery store to find imported food, and we take the rest of the store’s selections for granted. They’re not reflective of our culture…are they?

Of course they are. But we don’t take note of the cultural differences in our food choices because it’s our natural habitat. We just don’t care.

Did I see the Texas-shaped pasta in my grocery store growing up as a reflection of my home state’s culture? I did not. But when you look around at how many Texas-shaped items there are – in stores, on billboards – and think about how Texans identify with the sprawling space they inhabit, you’re beginning to understand the Texan culture.

Culture shock sometimes walks and talks like entitlement

I believe that one of the reasons Becca – representing so many of us – was gobsmacked by the cultural differences she perceived is that that we’re collectively entitled.

We walk through the grocery store aisles with an expectation that mac & cheese is ubiquitous, normal. The tiny section of ethnic food is for “the others”…

The majority is just like us…

…until we’re dropped into another country and are suddenly smacked in the face by reality: there’s so much culture!

In order for us to enact meaningful change in our culture so that every minority – beyond the token aisle – is represented accurately and respectfully, we have to acknowledge that America has a culture. 

And within America, each state has a culture. Within each state, there are counties, regions, communities…

Take a moment to focus on the culture you take as the norm, and then try to see it through the lens of others. There are rights and freedoms you take for granted because you’ve grown up with them. You’ve never had to advocate – or fight – for them. 

There’s nothing wrong with that…however…

Meaningful social change comes from acknowledging the cultural imbalances

It can be very difficult to step outside of your own cultural bubble and genuinely identify with the people around you who occupy that token aisle.

What if you were to look at the individuals who make up another culture, one with which you don’t identify. What if you were to try and see them as individuals and part of a larger community, as well. I’d urge you to make an effort to do that every time you’re confronted with a culture that doesn’t conform to your norm…

Reflect, respond, and engage in ways that will help you advocate for and enact social justice in a meaningful, lasting way.

And if there are parts of your normal culture that make you uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to try and change them. If you want help with that, contact me and we can get a conversation started.