Are you prepared for some self reflection?

Because that’s what’s really required for you to understand yourself… to enact real, lasting change.

It’s how you’ll come to understand that you’re Good Enough Now.

And it can’t be delegated… 

Self Awareness Can’t Be Outsourced

No one else can do this work for you.

Self-awareness cannot be outsourced, delegated, or shipped overseas. 

This is all you.

Changing habits is a whole other section of the bookstore.

Ultimately, we all know how to change a habit. 

Scott “Q.” Marcus of This Time I Mean It has developed a list of “Commandments of Changing Habits” that rings true, even as it makes me chuckle.

• Thou art complete from the beginning
• Thy life is thine own creation
• Thou shalt enjoy the benefits of thy habits
• Listen not to the pressure of others
• Yet accept thy journey is not alone
• Thou shalt accept time is out of thy control
• Give unto thyself more credit
• Thou shalt be free from long-term binders
• Expect not guarantees of success
• Thou shalt think smaller
• Don’t expect what you expected

This is how to do the best you can with what you have some of the time. 

Also, in changing habits, you must reach out to others for feedback, support, guidance, and encouragement.

This is an ongoing process. 

When you lose weight, it means little if you can’t keep the weight off, always and forever. 

I quit drinking over ten years ago. I am still an alcoholic. 

The struggle to be, while developing into who I want to become, is doing real self-work. No one else can do this work for me. 

And, I can acknowledge my past while being present and under construction.

I have enough now.

Are You Looking For Something?

Consider this…

Ego says, ‘Once everything falls into place, I’ll feel peace.’ 

Spirit says, ‘Find your peace, and then everything will fall into place.’ 

Marianne Williamson

In the process of self reflection, we think or feel that, once we have something, we can do something more effectively, and then – and only then – can we be something we yearn to be. 

Flipping this upside down is real, lasting change. We must be who we yearn to be. 

Being this person allows us to do something more effective to have something we don’t currently possess. 

Our lives start with taking responsibility for our being and how we show up…

…why we habitually respond the way we do, and where our greatest strengths can best support others and vice versa.

Never Quit Trying

My friend Mike told me a story about his stepdaughter, Zoe. 

From his perspective, Zoe is as tenacious as she is resilient, and to watch her develop before his eyes are his favorite part of being a new parental figure. 

While at a ropes course at a campsite, Zoe and her mother took on a multi-level challenge course. 

As Mike’s partner reached the third or fourth level (about four stories in the air), Zoe still struggled to reach the second level. 

She stopped and returned to the first level, deflated and disappointed. 

She then witnessed her mother crest the top of the fourth level and progress to the fifth. In that instant, Zoe turned and figured out how to proceed past the second level and kept climbing. 

Mike said, “It isn’t just that she tried; it is that she never quit trying to try.”

Can you do that? Never quit trying to try.

Real Change Requires Doing Something Different

For real change to ever happen, we will – we must – do something different. 

The time you take for self reflection shouldn’t be searching for something someone else has that you need… you’ve already got it. Real, lasting change in our personal and professional relationships starts with our (re)claiming responsibility for how we show up. 

We are our own best tool to build something different. If we start individually, I believe deeply that others will join us and follow. 

Collectively, we can navigate our way into the unknown – the different – so we don’t have to go at this alone.

The mindset or paradigm shift necessary is the belief that our work is what we need to truly model how to create the space for our whole lived experience to be present. 

Our ability to be ‘differently right’ allows us to see each other as the solution that we alone cannot bring to a particular problem. At the root, while doing the best we can with what we have some of the time, we must leave room for edits about ourselves and “them.”

Would you like to explore the ways you can make changes that are meaningful and lasting? Contact me, and we’ll get an open conversation going…

Related reading:

• There’s a limitation of language that stunts dialogue
• Do we value the importance of listening in our dialogue?
• Embracing social change by exposing your arse. Seriously